Weekly Photo Challenge – Relic

reidcropLast April, for Spring Break, we came to visit my mother-in-law and father-in-law. In fact, that’s where I found myself yesterday morning, in Ohio. We arrived Saturday night in time to watch the Reds score five runs in the fifth inning with my mother-in-law, then watch the Pirates tie it in the ninth, and win it in the eleventh inning with home runs by the same batter. The reds lost, but, I digress. I usually do, apologies.

It was an odd spring break, while most of our contemporaries were enjoying time away with their kids, B and I were dealing with end of life issues with her older sister and her father, my father-in-law. We still are. B’s sister passed away in April, and her dad passed away in June. We are reeling. While B has been driving back and forth to Ohio, I’ve had the kids. It’s easier for us because of our flexibility during the summer. I am relatively free.

I couldn’t have been more fortunate to have found the family I did – my in-laws are like second parents, like friends. Several years ago, I began joking with my mother-in-law that she was my favorite mother-in-law and she retorted that I was her favorite son-in-law. Every now and then I’ll start a conversation with, “you know, you are my favorite mother-in-law….” And she will respond in kind. We’ll howl and sip our coffee and talk about the day or what is happening, or just talk baseball. She’s a big Reds fan and part of the reason I pull for the Reds. As for the ‘favorite’ business – it is a no contest, as she and I are the only ones of each kind. I suppose it would be a tight contest if my brother-in-laws were still around. I lost one to divorce in ‘92 and I lost another when he passed away unexpectedly in ‘03 at the age of 52. Both were great men and treated me like a younger brother. I certainly could’ve used their support this spring and summer.

For Spring Break, we divided and conquered – B went to Ohio and I went to Michigan with the kids and the dog. We, the kids and I, went to Michigan to ski and relax while she went home to her parents to help her sister and her dad, as well as her mom. It’s a complicated story.

Regardless, her mom is still in her home and doing well. Her dad was dealing with dementia and steady decline in his physical capacities – he’d lost a lot of weight and was struggling to walk and get around, as well as dealing with balance issues. His decline began a few years ago in 2011 or 2012 and he began requiring daily assisted living care in the summer of 2012. It was difficult for all of us because until then, he’d lived a fairly vigorous life – gardening, working, playing, fishing, and just plain, living. My kids have many wonderful memories of grandpa up at the cottage or at Christmases or other visits. Continue reading Weekly Photo Challenge – Relic

The driver’s license

illinois plateYesterday W earned his driver’s license. Congratulations, W. He has been looking forward to the day when he could drive the car by himself. He had a countdown to the day he could take the test and earn his license.
We have been doing a lot of driving lately – long distance to Ohio and Michigan and he’s gotten a lot of practice on the road. He drove the entire way home from Michigan on Monday all 360 plus miles with two stops – one for gas and coffee and the other for dinner at Chipotle a couple of miles from home.

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ten years ago at the cottage, W delivering firewood for the night’s campfire… I miss that totem pole, it was cool

I picked up the mail at the post office Tuesday morning and there was a letter in the mail for W – from the Secretary of State’s office. Continue reading The driver’s license

Parades – A Photo Essay

There is nothing like a parade, especially on the Fourth of July. We took in two – the parade in town at 11 AM and the boat parade on the lake at 3PM.

all of us - O, me, W, and B
all of us – O, me, W, and B

July always seems like a busy month, I suppose all of the months are busy, but it’s July and I am in the moment. I’ve been flashing back and forth from past to present and present to past lately, some of it triggered by where I am and some where I’ve been. I needed something in between.

July means Independence Day, Continue reading Parades – A Photo Essay

Freedom Friday

Friday, July 4th. Independence Day. It’s America’s birthday and it’s a three day weekend. America will celebrate it’s independence from Britain. There will be parades, families will get together, there’ll be cookouts and fireworks. There’ll be all sorts of merrymaking – most of which I won’t partake. I’ll settle for the parade, a little boating, hamburgers and hot dogs, and fireworks. It’ll be great day.

It’s bittersweet for us, grandma and grandpa were always here for the Fourth. Always. The past couple of years they’ve been unable to make it up together. Last year grandma was here, but it was different. Regardless, I am always thoughtful of this day as well as our other national holidays – Memorial Day and Veterans Day – and how and why they are important to our culture and who we are as a people.

the Fourth of July parade with grandma, grandpa, and the kids - W and O. 2006
the Fourth of July parade with grandma, grandpa, and the kids – W and O. 2006

I am ever so grateful for the courageous men and women who went before me – Jefferson, Franklin, Adams, and many more who debated and wrote the Declaration of Independence and set forth the ideas freedoms of Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. Continue reading Freedom Friday

Weekly Photo Challenge: Contrasts

Last Wednesday, I drove through a heavy storm. As we drove west then north, the clouds became thicker and darker. The clouds opened up. I could hardly see through the windshield. I slowed to 40mph, and many cars pulled over to weather the storm. O and I, with Ivy along, were driving pick up W from wrestling camp in Wisconsin a day early. It’s been stormy – hot, humid, and muggy in the Midwest since late last week. Thursday morning we were on our way to Ohio driving through a cloudy morning on our way to a different kind of storm – the passing of a loved one.

before the rain began, shot 2
before the rain began, shot 2

My father-in-law, B’s dad, passed away after a long life filled with love for family, country, and hard work. We will miss him. The visitation was Thursday and the service was Friday. He will be in our memory forever. Continue reading Weekly Photo Challenge: Contrasts

Weekly Photo Challenge: Between

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the Reds logo from 1954-59

O and I decided we needed a diversion, actually I decided I needed a diversion, something to get my mind away from what I was thinking, what was on my mind. Baseball, it is the space in between which takes us off our worries, for even a moment.

Baseball. I remember going to watch my home team, the Astros, play games indoors in the Astrodome. I’ve since moved away from home and my team has moved out of the Astrodome, but I am still a fan. I still pull for my Astros, though I have lost the connection to the ‘stros and I don’t get out to the ballpark as much as I used to; I still try to take in a game when I can.

the 7th inning stretch is coming
the 7th inning stretch is coming

Continue reading Weekly Photo Challenge: Between

Death of a tree

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the culprit, emerald ash borer

It happened last week, a week ago today. The crew came and cut down our tree. The Ash tree. She had been in front of our home for as long we’d lived here. She was here before we moved in, before the kids were born, and before we got Ivy. She shaded our front lawn without fail, never complaining. I’d raked her leaves for 22 years, I’d trimmed her branches – before she got too tall, and then, she got sick. I didn’t notice at first but this spring she didn’t  leaf out along with the other trees –the maples, the oaks, the willows, and others. She had always been a late bloomer and the first to shed her leaves in the fall. But, when she did leaf out she looked sickly; a green branch here, a green branch there, interspersed amid many sickly dead grey branches. Then the crews came, first with their paint marking other trees in the neighborhood, they left a faint red dot at the her base. Then they came back with their ropes, saws, grinders, and trucks. They had many trees to cut down – we counted over seventy stumps in the neighborhood. Ours was one of the last to come down, but she came down anyway. The stump is still there as a reminder of where she once stood. This morning, I looked closely and I could see the stump sending out a couple of shoots in a desperate gasp to survive. It’s too late, our tree is gone.

I should have known that she was in danger, but I missed the signs. Continue reading Death of a tree

Father’s Day and the World Cup

france1998I’ve been watching the World Cup. My dad would be proud. I do not follow soccer; I mean football and can only recognize the player’s names because my students wear their jerseys – Messi, Rooney, Dempsey, Ronaldo, and Beckham. I know a couple of those players are retired. Nevertheless, I am watching. It’s Father’s Day morning and there is calm throughout the house. I am back outside in my garden office, Ivy at my feet guarding the yard from intruders. I started indoors this morning with Ivy under the table at my feet there, too, but I decided to move outside and enjoy the morning.

Last night I checked Facebook and discovered a high school friend had posted a picture of him and his dad. The looked exactly as I remembered them. Most of my photos of dad are ‘old school’ and I have not transferred them over to digital, yet. The day will come, though a few years ago I went through slides and photos at my mom’s house and came across the photo below. I scanned it and saved it for all of us. I think mom has the original, but I have the copy. I skimmed through the flash drive and found a photo of dad and I. My brothers came along for the ride, too. I posted it with my Happy Father’s day message. I hope they appreciate the trip down memory lane.

Chirstmas 1978 - Reading, England - Warren, David, dad with Sambo, and me
Christmas 1978 – Reading, England – Warren, David, dad with Sambo, and me

This morning, I went back in time and re-read old posts. They links are below. Father’s Day 2010 is raw and real and Father’s Day comes early is one of my favorite posts. I can close my eyes and remember the sounds, smells, and events of that day four years ago.

Father’s day is early this year, early in June, as early as it gets. The first of June was a Sunday and Father’s Day is the third Sunday in June; it’s the way the calendar works. The mind works in completely different ways.

Today brings back many memories – some good, some not so good, but memories that have shaped me. Shaped me into the person that I have become.

My dad was my dad, he was shaped by the events of his life and he gave what he could. He, like me, had his regrets, just as I have many. I also have many triumphs as a dad. It’s easy to get bogged down in the ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda game,’ very easily. It’s negativity, man – so, I won’t. This morning I will remember my dad for what he shared, what he taught me; and to laugh, smile, weep.

Continue reading Father’s Day and the World Cup

Day 4: Friday the Thirteenth

 

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I am enjoying a lovely morning on the deck; the wind gently rustles the leaves above me, the birds chirp and flit about.  It is a bit on the cool side, 56°F, but it will warm up, eventually. I am the eternal optimist, besides I have coffee to keep me warm. The wind chime emits an occasional ‘ding.’

It’s quiet this morning. Ivy is beside me, at my feet, or was until she heard something and stalked off to investigate. B is in Ohio with her mom and dad. W is at off-season sports camp, and O is sleeping. I hope that she’ll sleep for a couple of hours and get the rest she needs. We were supposed to follow this afternoon, but we will not. We’ll need to figure another time to head over and visit. We need to.

It’s Friday the thirteenth, the first and only one of the year. Continue reading Day 4: Friday the Thirteenth